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Oh, fuck.

Crozier lays back against the bed, hands twisting in the sheets as he adjusts to the pressure of Hickey's fingers inside of him.

"Christ, yes."

Hickey adjusts his fingers, moving them around, trying obviously to find the sweet spot. Every groan and moan means that Hickey will just leave his fingers in that spot for the moment longer.

Eventually, he slips a third finger in as well, trying to loosen Crozier up even more.

"That's it," he laughs. "Let's get you nice and loose for me."

"J-Jesus..."

When he's ready, and the pressure of his fingers turns into a sweet ache, he begins to rock up against his hand. He grabs Hickey's shoulder and stares back into his face as he bears down on him, letting out a low, needy groan.

When he feels Crozier rock up against him, that's when Hickey knows he's ready. He moves his fingers out of Crozier, wiping the remainder of the oil and slick on his cock. He's careful as he does this, adjusting his position so that he can slide inside the captain. When it happens, Hickey lets out a low laugh of pleasure, grinning all the while. Once inside, he starts to thrust. Both of them are going to enjoy themselves tonight, thank you very much.

Being fucked by an actual prick is a lot different than fingers, and Crozier is pleasantly surprised as he's filled entirely by him. He gasps quietly at that first thrust, then again, then begins to moan as Hickey sets the rhythms between them.

"Jesus Christ, Hickey, Jesus..."

Hickey grins as he continues to thrust in and out, looking down at Crozier with a wide smile on his face. This is what he wants. This is what he loves.

"Say my name again," he laughs, tiredness in his voice, as he continues to work Francis.

Crozier raises his hands to cup Hickey's face, drawing him down for a desperate kiss. "Hickey," he smirks, nipping at his lip until he's certain it'll bruise.

Hickey gives Crozier a distracted little grin. He loves this. He loves just hearing someone call his name with love in his voice like that. He pushes himself further into Crozier, filling him up as deep as he possibly can, before practically smushing his face down on Crozier's, not at all caring that the man's teeth are now also certainly drawing blood, so that he can kiss him just as ferociously.

There's the coppery taste of blood in his mouth, and he growls and places his hands on Hickey's arms to steady himself enough to push back. He's close, he's very close, and he both loathes and loves that they're both nearing the end.

"Will you....inside?"

"Obviously."

He's feeling stiff as well, ready to collapse and spend himself at any moment—a damn shame, as Hickey wants this to last for an eternity. "But kiss me while it's happening."

And he forces himself downward to try and kiss Crozier again, pushing his tongue in the other man's mouth. And it's only ten or so seconds later that Hickey groans in his captain's mouth and spends inside him. It's a sweet sensation that he hasn't felt in ages.

He pushes himself up as he holds fast to Hickey's head, gasping into his mouth as he feels him spill within him. It's the oddest sensation too, but not in a terrible way.

Crozier reaches down between them for himself, desperate to join him. He spends into his hand and over Hickey's stomach with a hiss, biting his lip again and kissing him fiercely.

Hickey feels the stickiness of Crozier's spend on his stomach. And then, moments later, he feels the tug of teeth on lips as he starts to kiss Crozier back, just as fiercely.

They're a sticky, sweaty, awful mess, but this is the happiest Hickey's been in ages.

God in heaven, he doesn’t want this moment to end. He kisses him back, over and over, until his body screams for him to lie back and relax for a minute.

He covers his face with his arm and exhales sharply. “Fuck.”

"Fuck indeed," Hickey quietly laughs. He looks down at Crozier, wide grin on his face, before he shifts his position so that he can lay down next to the man.

"I'll miss this," he quietly muses. "I'll miss you."

Crozier would have normally hesitated, but not this time. He pulls Hickey against his chest, wanting him to rest himself almost on top of him.

"So you're really going to leave."

"I am," Hickey says, as he leans into Crozier, just enjoying the feeling of body heat. "There's no way in hell I'm cut out to be a warden. I'd get demoted during my first month. It's better I leave this place and go back home to do what I need to do."

“Then…”

Then they must part.

“I’ve never been happier to have been wrong about someone.”

"And I've never been happier to prove someone wrong," Hickey says, with a little nod and smile.

"I'll find you again at some point. Trust me. And then we'll pick up where we left off."

"And what if I choose not to return?"

It needs to be said; he doesn't quite believe there will be a future. He doesn't blame him for being sentimental, of course, and he does wish to find him again. It's just...realism.

"I hope you do," Hickey quietly admits. "You're different in my time. You've changed. And the men need someone who's changed, who's capable and knows what they're doing."

There's a pause before Hickey admits, "If you had your shit in gear from the start, I doubt I'd have enough pull for a mutiny."

"And if I do head back, would it be too late to stop it? To stop any of it?"

There's a pained look that flits across his face. "What would I be going back to, if not a doomed expedition?"

There's a pause as Hickey thinks something over, frowning a little before he starts to talk again.

"I wasn't there, but I was told about what happened. One of the men was accidentally shot. He could have been left to die, but you went over to comfort him. To comfort and reassure him before he passed away."

Hickey shrugs a little, still thinking of poor Tom Hartnell. "That's what you're going back to. Even if everybody dies, better they die reassured and calm instead of scared and alone."

He doesn't want that responsibility. Why should he go back to pain and misery, when Hickey here gets to head off into the realm and time of his choosing?

"But then if I do go back," he adds quietly, looking down at Hickey's face. "Won't I loathe you?"

"I'll give you reason to loathe me," he quietly admits. Because he knows he will. Hickey knows he's not going to be an easy man to love when he's in the middle of things, stabbing Irving and starting a mutiny.

"But you'll see me again. The actual me, the man that I currently am." There's a pause before he admits, "I'm going back to the Arctic. I'll find you in the end."

He reaches down for Hickey's face, cupping it gently and pulling him up for a gently kiss. He needs to remember that he loves this man, this version of him, the one who has atoned and grown.

"I love you," he tells him softly.

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