ic contact for tlv

[friendsfordinner]

[ it literally is just the generic ic contact post, Hickey hasn't changed the outgoing message yet or anything. ]

Comments

[friendsfordinner]

I can do a decent enough stew, [ Hickey points out, with a little nod. ] The good thing about stews is that almost everything goes well in it. You can go far on scant ingredients.

[lone_horse]

[ An easy enough nod; yes, he knows. ] You can add rice to a stew to make it thicker, or serve it over a stew to make it last longer. I also put in some potato starch.

[friendsfordinner]

[ Hickey nods as well. He's quiet for a moment before he points out, ]

It never really leaves you, does it. That knowledge and that feeling you get when you know you've got barely anything to eat. I could be as rich as the Queen and I'd still feel guilty if I left any part of a pastry uneaten, even if it's barely edible to begin with.

[lone_horse]

[ He listens... but he nods when he's done. ]

As if you're keeping it from your own past self when he was hungry.

[friendsfordinner]

[ When Hickey speaks, it's as if he's realizing something for the first time, like he's slowly piecing out a puzzle. ]

Even if I got that clean break, even if I managed to desert in Maui, Oahu, I'd still hate the cold. I'd still try to eat all of whatever food I had on me. There's no such thing as a clean slate, is there.

[lone_horse]

No.

Your experiences will always be with you, because they've made you who you are. Whatever you become will come from the man you already.

[friendsfordinner]

[ There's a moment's pause before Hickey grumbles, ]

Well that's a bloody inconvenient pain in the ass.

[lone_horse]

[ A soft huff, practically a laugh from him. ]

It is.

Because it means valuing the man you are now as much as the man you intend to become.

[friendsfordinner]

I'm fine valuing the man I am now, [ teases the man with far too much self-confidence to his name. ] It's valuing the man I was that I'm not so sure about.

[lone_horse]

But just as necessary.

[ He tips his head towards Hickey. ]

I've seen man who don't. They live in fear every day and can't enjoy anything they've worked for. Eventually, in trying to kill him, they ruin their own lives.

[friendsfordinner]

[ He goes quiet for a moment, thinking about that. There are parts of Cornelius Hickey that he still likes and still uses. But there are parts that he'd rather push away and never deal with ever again. How ruined would his life be if he kept trying to push those parts away? ]

Can you accept something you did, a part of yourself, while still having mixed feelings about it?

[lone_horse]

It depends on why those feelings are mixed.

[ He looks to Hickey seriously. ]

Even if your actions are straightforward, most situations are complicated. It's rare you have a conflict that costs you nothing. If you think you did, you're probably fooling yourself.

But if you regret your actions, that needs to be addressed.

[friendsfordinner]

I don't regret my actions in this case, [ he says, with 100% certainty. ] S'pose I regret the situation that led to my actions. But then again, there were so many factors I couldn't control.

[lone_horse]

Can you tell me more about it?

[ It's clear that the answer can be no. ]

[friendsfordinner]

Maybe later. [ Hickey says, after a little pause. ]

[lone_horse]

Then with what I know now, I think what you should consider whether you feel you could control those circumstances now... or if you feel as powerless as you did then.

[friendsfordinner]

[ Hickey nods. That makes sense.

There's a moment's pause before he says, ]

Thanks for keeping an eye out for me, by the way.

[lone_horse]

[ A simple nod. ]

Of course.

[ Hickey was his subordinate. That's how it works, when it works properly. Protection and assistance is part of his job. ]

Let me know if you need anything else. Things or... anything.

[friendsfordinner]

I'll do so.

[ Maybe. Possibly. After all, Hickey places a lot of information on his own self-sufficiency. He'll only bother Kiryu if he absolutely needs to. ]

Though, and I don't mean this in a negative way, but I hope that I won't need anything.

[lone_horse]

I do too.

[ Just a little teasing- ]

Stay out of trouble.

[friendsfordinner]

I always try to.