ic contact for tlv

[friendsfordinner]

[ it literally is just the generic ic contact post, Hickey hasn't changed the outgoing message yet or anything. ]

Comments

[lone_horse]

[ He nods easily enough to Hickey. ]

That's why I offered it.

[ He'll head over to a corner of the kitchen and tug out a cardboard box, folding it back together before he tips his head towards the store room. ]

Let's get that done.

[friendsfordinner]

[ Hickey nods. ]

Tell me what to move and I'll move it. These are your supplies—I'm fine with you giving me whatever.

[ He's not dumb enough to try and ask for specific items. No way, he will be perfectly fine with whatever he gets. ]

[lone_horse]

I don't know what you eat. So I don't know what will be best to give you, other than rice.

[ He tips his head towards the store room again. ]

Come with me and we'll pick out some things. I can eat anything there. You might not like some of them.

[friendsfordinner]

Men in my station learn not to be picky, [ Hickey says, as he makes his way towards the store room. ] I'll eat almost anything anyone gives to me.

[lone_horse]

[ He turns back to look at him. ]

Being willing to eat anything is a good thing. Not having a preference isn't.

[ He faces forward as he continues leading the way towards the food.]

It's a small motivation; every preference you have is something you'll aim to support. It's not big, like a place to live. It's a small dream. But it helps you work up to that bigger dream being real enough to truly chase it.

[friendsfordinner]

[ There's a long pause as Hickey thinks that over. He couldn't afford to have preferences back home—he's still sure he can't afford to have preferences now. But maybe, if Kiryu asks, he could come up with one.

After a moment's pause, Hickey admits, ]

I don't like tomatoes.

[lone_horse]

[ A firm nod. ]

No tomatoes. Anything else you can think of?

[ An offer but clearly not something he'll force. ]

[friendsfordinner]

I'm hesitant around tinned goods, but I suspect that's a 'me' thing.

[ After all, none of the other tinned goods on the ship have been bad...yet. There's always a part of Hickey that's still wary. ]

[lone_horse]

No canned goods is fine. I can give you dried vegetables and seafood. All you need to reconstitute them is water. And you can see if they've gone bad by looking at them and smelling them, but it happens very rarely.

[ See? Preferences aren't bad. You can even learn new things. ]

[friendsfordinner]

[ Huh. He didn't really know that was a thing to begin with. He'll have to try to reconstitute some of those dried vegetables for lunch tomorrow, just to make sure he knows how to do it. ]

That sounds like it'll work wonders, [ he admits. ]

[lone_horse]

[ Kiryu nods, adds some dried scallops and shrimp in, as well as dried mushrooms, some dried seaweed, a few other things... adds some pork sausages he got from Little Asia. ]

If you cook with the water you used to soak them, it usually has more flavor. And they work well in stews.

[friendsfordinner]

I can do a decent enough stew, [ Hickey points out, with a little nod. ] The good thing about stews is that almost everything goes well in it. You can go far on scant ingredients.

[lone_horse]

[ An easy enough nod; yes, he knows. ] You can add rice to a stew to make it thicker, or serve it over a stew to make it last longer. I also put in some potato starch.

[friendsfordinner]

[ Hickey nods as well. He's quiet for a moment before he points out, ]

It never really leaves you, does it. That knowledge and that feeling you get when you know you've got barely anything to eat. I could be as rich as the Queen and I'd still feel guilty if I left any part of a pastry uneaten, even if it's barely edible to begin with.

[lone_horse]

[ He listens... but he nods when he's done. ]

As if you're keeping it from your own past self when he was hungry.

[friendsfordinner]

[ When Hickey speaks, it's as if he's realizing something for the first time, like he's slowly piecing out a puzzle. ]

Even if I got that clean break, even if I managed to desert in Maui, Oahu, I'd still hate the cold. I'd still try to eat all of whatever food I had on me. There's no such thing as a clean slate, is there.

[lone_horse]

No.

Your experiences will always be with you, because they've made you who you are. Whatever you become will come from the man you already.

[friendsfordinner]

[ There's a moment's pause before Hickey grumbles, ]

Well that's a bloody inconvenient pain in the ass.

[lone_horse]

[ A soft huff, practically a laugh from him. ]

It is.

Because it means valuing the man you are now as much as the man you intend to become.

[friendsfordinner]

I'm fine valuing the man I am now, [ teases the man with far too much self-confidence to his name. ] It's valuing the man I was that I'm not so sure about.

[lone_horse]

But just as necessary.

[ He tips his head towards Hickey. ]

I've seen man who don't. They live in fear every day and can't enjoy anything they've worked for. Eventually, in trying to kill him, they ruin their own lives.

[friendsfordinner]

[ He goes quiet for a moment, thinking about that. There are parts of Cornelius Hickey that he still likes and still uses. But there are parts that he'd rather push away and never deal with ever again. How ruined would his life be if he kept trying to push those parts away? ]

Can you accept something you did, a part of yourself, while still having mixed feelings about it?

[lone_horse]

It depends on why those feelings are mixed.

[ He looks to Hickey seriously. ]

Even if your actions are straightforward, most situations are complicated. It's rare you have a conflict that costs you nothing. If you think you did, you're probably fooling yourself.

But if you regret your actions, that needs to be addressed.

[friendsfordinner]

I don't regret my actions in this case, [ he says, with 100% certainty. ] S'pose I regret the situation that led to my actions. But then again, there were so many factors I couldn't control.

[lone_horse]

Can you tell me more about it?

[ It's clear that the answer can be no. ]